by JONATHAN CZUPRYN | October 30, 2015

Call me homeslice.
Some months ago — never mind how long precisely — having little else to accomplish and nothing particular to interest him in Texas, Todd Buchanan thought he would journey about a little and see the other parts of the world.
So he came to Iola, Kansas.
"I'm sure there's been some people like, 'Are you sure? What are you thinking?'" said Buchanan through his thick southern twang, spilling from his mouth like molasses from a Mason jar.
He's thinking he'll find his white whale: Happiness.
In his three-plus seasons at the University of Houston as the women's head basketball coach, the slightly silver-headed man struggled to find joy staring at his office's ceiling in the middle of the night.
Another slumber away from home. Another 20,000 miles on the road recruiting — in the month of July alone. Just another day in the life of a Division I coach.
"After 20 years or so of that, it takes a toll. It takes a toll on you mentally, physically," Buchanan said. "(Life's) all really too short to be unhappy."
So after a career that has been highlighted by a trip to the 2011 NCAA Tournament, an undefeated conference slate (twice) and a Conference USA Coach of the Year award, Buchanan, 48, is returning to his roots.
Well, sort of.
As a player, Buchanan started his collegiate career at the community college level. But in 28 years as a coach, he has never attempted to lead a group of JUCO athletes from the bench.
Until now.
Following a year-long hiatus from the sport his father, Tom, taught him to love, Buchanan is back in the saddle again.
From Kentucky to Oklahoma to Alabama and more, the basketball lifer has embraced every challenge and every destination.
"I've been a little bit of everywhere," he said. "I've been kind of like Johnny Cash, man."
So it's appropriate that he's facing a totally new test.
Last season, the Allen Community College women's basketball program stumbled to a 5-26 record, losing its final 13 games.
The Lady Red Devils finished last in their conference in five major statistical categories, and second-to-last in three more.
Suffice to say, it's not how sophomore Ashley Washington pictured her first year at college.
"No," she spoke quietly. "We don't want to lose like last year."
Fortunately, Allen's starting point guard and its new head coach are on the same page: Losing stinks.
So since Buchanan took over the program in late August, he's been putting in the hours to find success — just like the old days.
But unlike the old days, he's doing so with a renewed and refreshed attitude.
From the practice floor, he calls his players "homeslice" and "honey."
He cracks jokes and spits out his Texan metaphors (something involving jackrabbits; his drawl sometimes blends together into one funny yet indistinguishable mess).
And because Buchanan has been geared for coaching D-I players ready for an NCAA Tournament run, he knows he has to slow things down at times for his new team.
"I've had to really rein in myself at times," Buchanan said. "I've been very honest with them. I've caught myself at times going way too fast and trying to put many of the pieces of the puzzle too quickly. We came together one day and I told them, 'I'm sorry. I know I'm going too fast. I know I'm speaking a different language to some of you. So my promise to you is that I'm going to slow down, I'm going to be more patient.' 
"And at the end of the day, I'd rather do six, seven, eight things really, really, really good and do them the best we can do rather than be out there and be a jack of all trades and a master of none, so to speak. They got that. They understood that. They really appreciated that."
Yet he knows what he's here to do.
Toward the end of Thursday's practice, he takes the ball and asks what the word of the day is.
"Consistency," say his players, some adding "sir" to address the head ball coach.
Consistency is something Allen hasn't had since before these players were born. 
"See that banner," assistant coach Rachel Janzen points inside the ACC gym.
It reads 1990, the last time the Lady Red Devils were anything close to a power in southeast Kansas.
"That's why I'm here," she continued. "To get another one."
The journey begins today at 2 p.m. when Allen hosts Ottawa JV for its first game of the year.
"We don't want people to look past us anymore," sophomore Haley Wilson said. "For (opponents), it was like, 'Oh Allen County? This is going to be easy.'"
Now, Buchanan has the job of making it anything but.
There are still sacrifices. His wife, Michelle, and his 7-year-old son, Colton, are still back in the Houston area because of Michelle's job.
"It kills me everyday," Buchanan said. "But they know. They get it."
He's a basketball coach, so sometimes, he must sail through the vast prairies of America to finally find that white whale.
In the meantime, Allen is simply hoping Buchanan can help harpoon another banner on the gym's wall.